Rigid

This character structure develops when the child experiences rejection from the parent of the opposite sex. This rejection is experienced by the child as a betrayal of love, and it hurts a great deal. So the child responds by learning to hold back and in all the feelings involved, so that they are never allowed expression for fear that they will lead to the same pain. So this person
learns to hold back and control their love, pain, sexuality and pleasure, anger and so on. They have a deep unconscious fear of the pain of betrayal and they hold these feelings back to try to ensure they never face that pain again.
With this person, pride comes into play because this person’s pride is hurt by the rejection of love (and related feelings such as sexual feelings). This person fears greatly that their pride will be hurt and so they develop a mask personality that attempts to establish superiority and avoid vulnerability, betrayal, hurt. The person, to maintain this, must therefore be very self-
controlling. They fear that loss of self-control will allow the spontaneous human to take over and that may lead to the so-feared hurt and humiliation. They hold their inner self in a rigid and guarded position, terrified, while externally they project a proud, ambitious and strong appearance. The person refuses to recognize that they need love and openness, like all life
does. The more they play their pride and rigid self-control game, the further they alienate themselves, and the further they get from experiencing the love that they really want.
Sometimes they try to use sex to get love and satisfaction, but that doesn’t work.
This person is thus unable to feel much, to experience their feelings, because they have held them all back. They are afraid to surrender to their feelings because they imagine that they will be hurt.
This person heals by allowing feelings to flow, be expressed and shared with others openly.
Once feelings start to flow, this person’s other abilities are unlocked. Once healed, they find themselves with an abundance of love, inspiration, passion, adventure, play, and leadership.